


shit in cartmans POV

by whizzer_brown



Category: South Park
Genre: Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, M/M, Oops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 16:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21039044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whizzer_brown/pseuds/whizzer_brown
Summary: so yeah. pretty sure cartman is gay for kyle. kyle is a whiny bitch. kenny is poor lmao.





	shit in cartmans POV

**Author's Note:**

> a little nsfw here

As I reach the bus stop I'm greeted by McCormick, blond hair and orange parka and empty pockets and everything. It's so hilarious that Kenny is the first person there, I'm assuming he had a supreme breakfast. Kenny is so poor its impossible to not rip on him. He only talks when Stan and Kyle arrive, as close as they've always been. "How was your weekend, guys?" He said, muffled per usual.

"Nothing much," Stan says, because he's boring.

Kyle's eyebrows knitted together in that beautiful jew kind of way, probably in angry motion, but I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized that I was staring at him, and Kyle was staring right back. "What the fuck are you looking at, Fatass?" He spat out. Little Kyle , short tempered. The yell woke me right up.

"Oh nothing, just your stupid fucking hat."

"My hat isn't stupid." Kyle frowned. It looked kind of nice to me though, even though he was totally pissed. Admittedly, its exciting. I love seeing Kyle getting all worked up like this. One day he'll learn his lesson. I can imagine it now:

"Cartman, please let me suck your balls." Imaginary Kyle cries, hands and knees, head over heels for me. Of course I'm muscular, toned, beautiful, and irresistible. I can't blame Kyle. My dick is big, too. I feel his pain.

"No, bitch!" I spit in his fucking face. "You can't suck my balls, because you're a whiny bitch! Haha! Bitch!"

Kyle whines "Cartm..."

"Seriously dude, why are you staring at Kyle?" Kenny laughs.

"Because his hat is fucking retarded." I save myself. Swift.. I thought I was getting some wood there.

"Shut the fuck up!" Kyle shouts as the yellow bus pulls right up. Saved by the bell, silly Kyle. But you aren't getting my balls, no way. Silly Kahl. Oh no, wood. Alert.


End file.
